- Country of Origin: United States of America
I have spent 38 years in the business of owning and running operations.
Since 1987, I have seen people of all shapes and sizes coming to buy from all walks of life. I have experienced people’s tastes rise and fall, change and change again. I have seen people’s attitudes change and reshape themselves both positively, negatively and emotionally. As a businessperson, I either had to adapt to the changing environment or fade into obscurity. I chose to adapt. It is an essential part of business.
In the small business world, I have few or no employees, so my experience in an ever-changing environment stems directly from dealing with customers — experience in how to deal with them during each and every sale of the day.
Customers were courteous
In the early part of my business venture, customers exhibited a welcoming social grace. Customers were courteous, they used words like please and thank you. A customer would hand me the money and thank me for serving their needs and being there for them. Customers then knew what they wanted when they shopped, and they were grateful for the experience — appreciative that you were providing a service. They would hold a light or humorous conversation and give you a laugh, a smile, a wave when they left. No agenda, political hatred, or need to voice opinions in spite. They dressed with style, enjoyed the community experience around them, and cared that others experienced shopping as a joy, alongside them.
Then.
In 2016, the customer atmosphere changed. It became stormy. The change came in the customers’ attitudes. This generation of customers was no longer interested in the community experience or in savoring the experience of shopping. They now shopped with a “me” mentality.
It’s not all about me, but it is about me
Open for me, serve me, order this item for me, serve me the quantity I want. The unwritten rules and social graces were no longer honored or followed. Customers felt entitled to be entitled and to bluntly let you know.
If I want my stuff at 6:30 AM, who cares if you open at 8 AM, serve me!
Customers now dressed in slippers and pajamas. Bras were suddenly not socially awkward. Shirts with the words “One, Two, F^^% You” and “If You Stomp on My Flag, I’ll Stomp on Your Face” are okay for children to see. Arrogance and outrageousness are badges of patriotism! Now, when I wish them a nice day, they grunt or spit out, “Who the hell do you think you are!” As a business owner, this is a shock to the system, both emotionally and physically.
The customer is always right, even when wrong
These days, a business owner must adapt to the mentality and attitude of every customer. I held my tongue and did just that. I have adapted to the ever-changing attitude of what is “important” to every single customer. I have applied my knowledge of conflict resolution, psychology, and psychoanalysis to customer service. One customer is happy and enjoying their shopping experience, the very next customer tells you you’re an asshole and to f^^% off. The question of “What would you like today?” turns into a nasty political conversation where the customer is always right.
I must be quick on my feet to be able to deal with today’s customer atmosphere. I am. I must treat each customer with an outward respect — and inwardly store the knowledge of what to do differently next time. I must be thick skinned and let go of past gripes and grievances.
For me, the knowledge of understanding has come from my training in conflict resolution, psychology, and anger management. Empathy over the years led to continuing success in my little business. And otherwise.
Thank you to Yosef Baskin and Tripti Mund for their inspired edits on this piece.
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Ray Csen
Ray Csen has been running her business since 1987 at age 12. With a Bachelors in Secondary Education and a Master’s in Digital Technology Instruction, she taught, coached, and mentored in the inner-city school system of Allentown, Pennsylvania. She is currently working on her PhD in Public Administration and still running her business. She has a passion for helping people.
