Sunset on the Mountain, Sunrise in My Head

At times when I am faced with life’s inevitable challenges, my initial and persistent thought is “I’ll never get through it this time.” But I’ve come to realize each time that I have made it through, and I will continue to, because that’s just life. I like to think of myself as an optimistic, go-getter type of person, but I can’t deny that I also have a very defeatist mindset. 

Defeat — I can’t think of any better way to describe the feeling of wanting to give up when you can’t seem to find it in you to take just one more step. We’ve all heard it before that “Nothing good ever comes easy,” and these honest, encouraging words prevent me from giving up.

No matter how big or small your struggles are, it requires a great deal of courage to persevere and overcome them, invariably an extraordinary achievement to be proud of.

Walk your dogs!

It may be nothing much to some, but one of my favorite things is taking my sister’s dog, Mahina, out for an evening walk. Such a small yet fulfilling task gives me a sense of accomplishment for being an average person.

Most people in their day-to-day lives don’t see waking up or getting ready in the morning as a burdensome chore, but unless you’ve hit rock bottom, you may not realize how great it is to have the ability to complete such simple tasks with ease. Lately, this pressure has been lifted off my shoulders, but like dust collecting on a high shelf, it always returns no matter how many times I thought I got rid of it.

With the slightest ambition after a long weekend, I grab the dog leash as Mahina pops her head out from her napping spot behind the couch and comes running to the door. I am content to see how excited she is to go for a walk, and that it is enough to get me through what little of the day is left. 

As always, there are a handful of families at the park with all their children running around, playing soccer together, and a few familiar faces of those who also take their dogs out at this time in the evening. This hour seems the most serene with the sun starting to set, a cool breeze blowing, the lines of cars coming home from work, the overgrown weeds tickling the side of my ankles, and the wafting scent of someone grilling dinner in their backyard.

Amongst everyone around me experiencing their individual lives, I find myself as just another regular person taking a walk in the neighborhood park. In moments of bliss like these, I stop wherever I am and just think, ‘I am so happy right now. It was worth it after all,” because it always surprises me that I survived through all the struggles when  I thought I wouldn’t make it past that day.

With the faint sound of people talking and laughing in the background, I held my phone up closer to my face listening to the soft ringtone and waiting for my friend, Kaden, to answer my call. I asked to see what he was planning for all of us to do the following day, and was shocked to hear him reply with “The boys wanted to go Koko Head.” 

On my way back home, I tried to distract my mind from how intimidating just the thought of it was, and enjoyed the calm last scenes of my walk with Mahina.

Sunset with a view of life

But I wake up the next morning with the same lack of energy and wearied mindset of just enduring the day as much as I can. I am sitting in the passenger seat of Kaden’s car pulling into the parking lot of Koko Head, wondering why I even agreed to do something like this when I barely have the motivation to get out of bed. 

I drag my feet along just to meet up with some of the boys at the bottom, and realize that the hike hasn’t even started yet. Everyone else starts stretching, but instead, I sit on the curb of the sidewalk and stare down at the asphalt road in front of me. We haven’t even started, and I am looking weary and feeling defeated. It is late in the afternoon, even for summer, and the sun is already beginning to go down. As soon as the last few of our friends arrive, we begin to make our way up the steps.

Step after step. 

After step. 

After step. 

After a while, the exhaustion consumes my mind and body. I pause in my tracks and look back at the thousands of steps I have already taken. But when I face again towards the top, I realize, why come this far, to only come this far? 

From this point, I can see the top, but only if I look up high enough beyond the incline. The last couple of steps are just within my reach, yet miles away. I start to feel the burn in my quads and tiredness in my body from only drinking water the entire day, realizing that I forgot to eat anything. Anything. It isn’t even the hunger in my stomach or the pain in my legs, but the mental exhaustion that makes me want to give up. It takes every ounce of energy in me to make another step, after step, after step. 

Finally, I reach the top and immediately sit down on the graffitied concrete wall next to my friends who are waiting for the rest of us. The sudden transition from intense workout to immediate rest rushes a wave of weakness over my faint body, but the feeling of achievement is surely fulfilling. 

I find solace and hope in being able to proudly hold my head high while staring out at the view from the top of a mountain. In a brief moment, I catch a glimpse of the beautifully painted orange sky seconds before it vanishes. I could not feel any more relieved than from letting the cold, thin air blow through my hair, listening to the sounds of crickets chirping, and watching the faded remnants of color leave the sky as night begins to fall. 

You won it, you own it

This experience seemed oddly similar to my walk with Mahina from the day prior. At the end of the day, between celebrating the act of taking a walk outside and hiking to the top of a steep mountain, I was able to conquer something I thought I wouldn’t be able to. 

It didn’t matter on a scale of how large or demanding the activity was, I was proud to have pushed myself to overcome it. Truthfully, nothing good ever comes easy, and perseverance is all a part of the process. 

The sun sets every day regardless of who you are and what you’ve experienced. It is a reminder to us all that it is worth it in the end, to persevere through challenges and to be proud of what you have accomplished.